I am enjoying my week in Tyumen, which is definitely a nice little city with lots of coffee places and restaurants. Last night was bowling night with my colleagues (where I managed to extend the Stella Artois peak long enough to score a good 127, before it screwed my ability to shoot straight in the second game). After that we went to a place called "Kaliant house" (the house of waterpipes). There, my friends asked me to go in and ask for a table, as they thought I had more chances to get one as a foreigner than they would as locals. I quickly rehearsed the necessary sentences in Russian to do so, went in, and asked for the table. There, the bouncer told me bluntly that they had "face control policy", and that I did not qualify.
I was not told which exact criterion I failed...was it a specific part of my face or my face as a whole? It took my friends to discuss for a while (in real russian) for us to get in, while I was crying in a corner of the room for this is the first time that I could not go in a pub because of my face.
In the end, I don't know what my friends said (What would you say: "that's not his real face"?, "Come on, the accident was already bad enough in itself, don't rub it in"), but the manager of the place came in and decided to let me in...
The official version is that when I try to speak russian, I sound like I am drunk, so the security did not want to let me in. So, lesson learned: "Be sober and don't try too hard to speak the language".
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5 comments:
Ah, the Stella peak. Only the greatest can extend it long enough to score above 150.
Could you have failed the face control policy because it was too high above your chest? Most Russians I've seen (okay, only in movies), have no neck. Maybe that's what they meant...try going to the gym and lifting weights.
O my God!! Foreigner plan to come in any entertainment place in Russia not work any more??? I can not believe in it))))
So you sound drunk when you speak Russian? that's must be funny in the office :)
Carolina
So being on a stella peak does not count as drunk then?
The Stella peak is the combination of:
- add'l effect of the carbs on the energy to throw the ball,
-effect of the alcohol on my own will power... for example, it transforms the self repeated sentence "let's try to make a strike" to "this time you're not gonna let anyone of these f*****s standing",
-an elbow and wrist that are relaxed from lifting the glass,and allow spinning the ball just right.
I believe this is the same Stella peak that makes the truck drivers safer after 2 beers than without any (I'll have to check on that though). It occurs about 1.5L before the drunk side.
Carolina, I don't speak Russian at work. I mostly email.
Anonymous#1, are you shocked that expats try to go in pubs in spite of their face?
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